The things I can't live without are:

Okay, so here is a list, because I just love a good list.  I am vetting potential blokes on eHarmony and some of you probably recognize the title  It's a list of 5 things you can't live without and I have to say, I pay close attention to this list.  Here is my list of lame things that you should not put on this list:

1. Air lol  (uh, really? Being literal and lol-ing about it...how (not) cute)
2. Business cards  (a sign that you work or maybe network, waaaay too much)
3. Keys  (okay.....)
4. Pen (uh huh....yaaawwwn)
5. Wallet  (seriously?)
6. Internet, laptop, cell phone...if you list all 3, you probably are a hermetic computer geek.

I have yet to see someone say "YOU!" for this category....I really wish they would.  I would be oh so flattered.

Also, if you like to hang out with your parents and family in your leisure time and nothing else, or read books like "The Spirituality of Imperfection" I have to think that eHarmony is stretching a bit for us to be a match.  

I also really do not understand why everyone and I mean EVERYONE, is passionate about living life to it's fullest!! I mean...I am just waiting, waiting for the guy who says he is passionate about living in a cardboard box, doing nothing with his time, just sitting around, keeping his fingers cross for the Right One to come along.  Because that's the guy that is probably more truthful than the rest.  All the others are soooo cliche.  Please, please do not state that your passion is living life to the fullest!  Boooorrrring!

And a hint about photos:  Very blurry, obviously cell phone in the mirror with the phone covering half your face or you holding it way off to the side....not so much.  I mean, I have short arms and I can even still manage to take a picture of myself, non-blurry, with my phone, with an arm stretched away from me far enough so that it gets my whole face.  Effort, please!  I like to see a little effort!  No super far away pictures either.  I can't see your face.  And only head shots?  Well, you might as well be advertising that you are a whale!  Big, big hint:  if you wear a suit in at least one pic, birds will think you are professional, making tons of jack and oooh....not afraid to dress up?!  Yeah...we love a man in a suit!  It's kinda like a man in a uniform.  Mmm, mmm, good!

Last bit of advice to all those male eHarmony users out there....when you get to the point of open communication, where you can email the girl whatever you like, please don't waste it on something like this: I would luv 2 no more abt the lovely *****. I can be reached by text at 404-391-**** or my yahoo user name, g****7.   Umm...really?  Because I am an adult and I can handle a real adult conversation.  I am not afraid to pick up the phone and talk to you...but....apparently, you are.  Text you, seriously?  Is this like junior high?  I know texting did not even exist when we were in junior high, but that is how you are acting!  

Ladies and gentlemen....keep it real, yo!  You'll find the best mate for you more quickly.  Just saying'...